Hostage’s Pick: Not Quite Hollywood
Good day all,
I’ve wriggled my way free from the fuzzy-cuffs (she’s been kind lately, scary) to share my feelings on this little gem. I know the lady has suggested that I will try to take credit for this little beauty but she is, as always, completely wrong. I mentioned that there had been some serious nuclear testing done in the Australian outback in the fifties and the result was some spectacular films. I remembered one about a giant, wild boar wreaking havoc on the culturally challenged Aussie populace. That was when she mentioned a movie about Aussie exploitation movies. I have a stance on movies about movies, in that I mean, why not just watch movies yourself instead of watching movies about movies; it’s a waste of time and energy. I am happy to say, for the first time ever, I was wrong. This documentary about Aussie filth rocked balls, with great commentary from interesting folk. The wife would say I chose it, but I would suggest that it chose me.
This movie opens with a thorough study of Australian titty-flicks and sexual satires. It picks out all of the most ridiculously perverted scenes for you and lines them up rapid-fire; think smart porn. The movies look really cheap, the ladies are really naked and the commentators, fan and director alike, seemed to revel in knocking down the snobby side of Aussie cinema (which I dig). Any time the underdog sticks it to the rich, snobby kids from the country club I cheer, and this community of directors loved thumbing their noses at the Aussie elite (by the way, did you know Australia has an elite; and it’s snobby?). I would like to say, to the people of Australia, no offense, I’m Canadian and we get the same shit. Everybody thinks we’re hicks. Truth is, I grew up in Alberta and know a lot of hicks. This movie celebrated my inner hick to a point that made my heart smile. In fact I think what I loved is that this movie is Australia celebrating its hick-dom, embracing and moving on to the next step of the program (with a lot of boobs and low humour).
So from toilet humour and sex romps they moved to violent bullies and comatose serial killers (I paused at that myself). Basically there was one, supposedly great film about a psychic, killer in a coma and a ton of cheesy thrillers trying to capitalize on its success. Again, the whole culture of the movies was to one up each other on the crazy and stick it to the man, in this documentary represented by the douchiest, snobbiest, Australian film critic I’ve ever seen. This guy, literally, did not have a positive thing to say at any time in the movie, whether it be person or film he was discussing. So, again, I found myself cheering for these guys making, really, mediocre but violent and gory thrillers. The kicker, for me, was the passion and creativity these guys brought; think a bunch of Australian Ed Woods. The section on action movies especially blew my mind. These guys would strap themselves to the front of the car and tape, without a permit, on an open highway at 130; insane. The stunts just kept getting more and more ridiculous as the filmmakers tried to one-up each other and the action got crazier and crazier. Dennis Hopper, insane on cocaine while shooting a movie in the outback was pretty awesome too, especially the aboriginal dude that would just walk off to talk to the trees about whether Hopper was a God or crazy (seriously). I am man enough to admit that I was wrong, but this is one movie about movies that was certainly worth watching. We have already watched three or four of the movies mentioned and enjoyed their awesome ridiculousness. The footage is bizarre and the people that made it, and their stories, are even crazier. Check this thing out!
Now, before I go back to finding a way out of the bunker (I think I’m underground) I have to address what I like to call the Tarantino Paradox. Quentin Tarantino is one of my favorite directors and his knowledge of film, especially exploitation film, is incredible. The guy has seen, and remembers, everything. I just wanted to say that out loud and make sure not to anger the man’s defenders out there, so here we go: Quentin Tarantino has pretty shitty taste in movies. He makes incredible films, but God help you if you check out a movie he recommends in an interview. He compares an Aussie horror movie to The Shining and turns to the screen saying “yes, I know what I’m saying” so we think, this time, a Tarantino suggestion might hold up to how awesome he said it was going to be. Clearly, by my tone, you can tell the movie did not deserve the comparison. I really enjoy what he had to say about the films, and I loved the scenes he shared with and Aussie filmmaker he is clearly a fan of, but you have to take any recommendation he gives with an ounce or two of salt. Regardless, enjoy this gem and check out the Australian crazy that grabs your attention because they will, at least, shock you.
Until the next time I dislocate a wrist,
The Hostage
P.S. Imagine an Aussie kung-fu movie. Got it? Yeah, they looked about that good.